Please excues my emotional drivel, Huxley brings it out in me

So, this little blog is a big deviation from what you normally get.

So, I've read Brave New World for the second time in my life last week. If you haven't read it, it is phenomenal. But what really interested me was how my reception of it has changed. As, you may or may not know, the story takes place in a society where people are conditioned/drugged into believing that they are happy. No one participates in long-term relationships, no one gets hurt. There's no starvation, fear of death or illness, almost nothing to worry about at all.

Now, when i first read this story in high-school I was appalled. Young me thought: How dare they stoop to drugs to alleviate emotional pain? Why would anyone not risk the pain that can come of monogamous relationships? I mean, breaking up really sucks, but most of the time i don't regret getting into the relationship in the first place. In most cases I had fun while it lasted and learned something from the relationship.

But now that i'm older, I'm not so sure. I mean, there is no war in this world. No sickness. Everyone in the society is perfectly happy with their place, and if they are not they are of course free to leave. There are no weeks or months of recovery when you get rejected by someone you love, because no one loves. And that's a big thing for me. Because i'm pretty much a serial monogamist and I know i've hurt others and been hurt by breakups. Sometimes that weighs on my conscience a bit.

These thoughts kept running through my head as I was reading it. It's a little dismaying to realize that it is slightly tempting to me to essentially become a robot rather than continuing to endure the triumphs and failures that make me human. Especially considering i was never the druggie, pain-numbing type. When exactly did this happen? When did i become so exhausted with life?

I would have probably continued this argument if I didn't at this point start thinking about art. Afterall, if i hadn't experienced dissappointment in my life, would i write poetry, and songs? would i draw? Doubtful. And to be perfectly honest, I think i am willing to go through the pain that is life. I'm willing to face sickness, death, and ex-boyfriends if it means that maybe, someday in the future i'll create something that resonates as well as my favorite song or painting. If i was an emotional robot, I suppose i wouldn't need an emotional outlet, but I think i prefer things this way. I am vaguely aware that this last paragraph may seem a bit pretentious. I don't care.


the end.


For those of you who may have been wondering:
fav. song (for the moment)-
two steps behind by ryan montbleu

fav. painting-
without ceres and bacchus, Venus would freeze by hendrick goltzius

PS: I highly doubt I will ever create any work of art to rival Goltzius' work.